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A Holiday Guide to Gift-Giving Etiquette

Excerpts from Jenna Milly (CNN.com) Peter Post the grandson of legendary etiquette guru Emily Post works at his grandmother's etiquette institute in Vermont, and says the most important thing is "giving the gift because it's coming from you and your heart."

1. Receiving a gift from someone who you did not get a gift for. "There's nothing about having received a gift that says you have to give a gift in return," said Post. In other words, kindly thank your gift-giver. DO NOT stumble all over yourself in embarrassment because you didn't plan a gift for him or her. DO NOT give an excuse as to why you don't have it with you right now. DO NOT go out and get a gift to give them the next day. Simply say "I can't believe that you are so thoughtful that you gave me something."

2. Setting a budget and sticking to it! "Don't get caught up in the old they gave me a $25 gift and I have to give them a $25 gift. Find the nicest thing you can find for your budget. The great thing about shopping online is that the gift ideas are already segmented into your dollar amount," says Post.

3. Get creative Andrea Linette, creative director of Lucky Magazine, a monthly publication dedicated to the art of shopping, recommends using ingenuity. "Think of more thoughtful gifts. If someone's really into coffee, you can get them a small gift certificate. Something that's thoughtful [and] doesn't appear cheap. Cheap is anything that seems like an afterthought," Linette says.

4. Gift cards/ certificates Giving gift cards for specialty items such as food, wine, movies or coffee make great gifts. Post agrees with the sentiment of gift cards only if the giver thinks about the interests of the recipient. "The best kinds of gift cards are restaurant and movies. I like the idea of thinking about the person, and what will really go in their world." Otherwise, Post said, "I sometimes feel like ... gift cards are a copout." Especially the wrong ones.

5. Gift baskets/ bouquets Try to steer away from the traditional/ commercial sources. The receiver would like to know that you selected this item specifically for them, so go for arrangements that have more than one type of component such as flowers and chocolates or nuts and fruits, but make sure you know enough about the person not to get it wrong. Still have doubts, subtly check with the receiver on their preferences.

6. The taboo of re-gifting Thoughtfulness appears to be key in capturing that holiday cheer, but in recent years, re-gifting - a term popularized by the NBC sitcom "Seinfeld" that means giving someone a gift you received and didn't want, reared its ugly head. "I hate it," Post said. "I understand that once in a blue moon, there's a potential that it could work. But I think it's deceptive. Honesty is one of the things most important in our lives." Linette approaches it this way. "It depends who they got it from," she said. A close personal friend or family member is one thing, but an acquaintance may be different. "If it's your boss and they are going to expect you to use it, that can be tricky. Wear it once and maybe give it away."

7. Never give items such as A bathroom scale (male or female). Post agreed that anything too personal should be avoided when shopping for someone outside your inner circle of family and friends. "Unless it's your wife, do not give [a woman] anything that is a real personal item like a negligee. It's the wrong message. I think scents would be a real mistake, a cologne is too personal. A bathrobe wouldn't be appropriate, or underwear," he said. Linette added to her do-not-buy list for women: any appliances, weight loss gift certificates or cellulite spa treatments. For men, she said steer clear of "anything cutesy like sexy underwear, or anything like an "I love you" balloon with candy."

8. The final touches After you've carefully chosen the appropriate gift or gift card, wrapping paper adds the festive holiday punch. "People think gift wrapping is an afterthought. Wrapping a gift is part of the gift-giving and presentation," Post said. Linette agreed. Having fun with the wrapping paper is all part of the moment. "You don't have to get it professionally wrapped," she said. Instead use creativity to make your gift special.

9. Saying Thank You And lastly, Post pointed out one essential step in completing the gift-giving tradition: the art of writing a thoughtful and timely thank-you card. "I think thank-you notes are important, but they don't have to be incredibly formal," Linette said. "I don't even care if it was an e-mail to me, I want a thank you."

E-mail and text messaging might be a way of letting someone know you liked the gift, but the experts lean toward the traditional note card. Writing cards is all a part of the spirit of giving. "It would make someone feel really good, so why not?" Post asked. The act itself doesn't have to feel like something your mother made you do. Linette said, "It's just polite and being polite is cool."